Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
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Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
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apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
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