He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
