I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
My penis needs a shock collar
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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