As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
