You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
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