"it" just moved
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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