I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
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Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
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All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things ππ
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