i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
