Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
