At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
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