and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
