I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
We are two peas in an std pod
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize
