I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
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He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
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I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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