you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
