Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize