Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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