its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
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