So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize