We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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