i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
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