When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
