I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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