That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
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