I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
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