oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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