Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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