my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize
