Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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