I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
