We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
