Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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