some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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