saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
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