I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
