Well douche your snatch and let's go!
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
