the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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