doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
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I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
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Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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