we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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