the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize