Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Randomize
