NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
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