I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
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