Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
