I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
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