i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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