Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Randomize
