Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
