Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
