My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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