I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
