shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
