Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
