also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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