kristin has been a bad kristin
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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