I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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