shes about as inviting as chlamydia
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
