I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
