Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
