He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
