I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
