She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
