R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
