where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.