Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Is Oprah even human
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