god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
These 23 Kids Have The Most Overbearing Parents Imaginable
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE