honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
