oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Randomize
